Feeling Behind in Your 20s or 30s? Why You’re Not Alone
There’s this strange pressure in your 20s and early 30s… like you’re supposed to know exactly where you’re going, have your dream job lined up, be in the perfect relationship, maybe even own a house by now. And yet, so many emerging adults are quietly thinking: I don’t feel steady at all. Am I already behind?
If that’s you, you’re in good company. I hear it from clients all the time, and honestly? I’ve been there too. This season of life is messy, transitional, and full of anxiety that doesn’t always make sense on paper.
Why Quarter-Life Crisis Anxiety Feels So Overwhelming
Your brain craves routine and stability. When life keeps shifting; jobs, relationships, cities, even your own sense of identity; your nervous system throws up red flags. Suddenly you’re restless, comparing yourself to everyone online, and wondering if you’re doing it “right.”
And then there are the “shoulds.” By now, you should have it figured out. By now, you should know who you are. By now, you should feel settled. Except… who decided that?
Signs You’re Struggling with Life Transitions in Your 20s and 30s
◦ You feel both excited and terrified about the future
◦ You keep asking yourself if this job, relationship, or city is “enough”
◦ You’re exhausted by the constant comparing… but you can’t stop scrolling
◦ You’re craving stability while also fearing you’ll get stuck
If you recognize yourself here, you’re not failing. You’re just in the middle of growth; and growth rarely feels comfortable.
Coping Strategies for Emerging Adult Anxiety
In our therapy work with young adults in Illinois and Michigan, we often suggest small but powerful ways to feel more grounded during this season:
◦ Find an anchor. Not everything has to change all at once. A morning ritual, a weekly friend date, or a cozy routine can give you something steady to hold onto.
◦ Give yourself permission for mixed feelings. Relief and sadness can sit side by side. So can hope and fear. It doesn’t mean you’re confused; it means you’re human.
◦ Name the “shoulds.” Ask: Do I actually want this, or do I just think I should?
◦ Let the timeline be flexible. Your life isn’t behind; it’s just unfolding at your pace.
A Gentle Reminder About Anxiety in Your 20s and 30s
Finding your footing isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about letting yourself stand where you are right now, even if it feels shaky, and trusting that this season is part of your story; not the end of it.
